[What is this Shit, Internet?] Part Two of Eight Hundred Billion

Internet, of all the terrible things you’ve done (and, not to belabour the point, but there are thousands), I honestly think the absolute worst has to be the quote-unquote “Gamers”. Now, when I type Gamers, I don’t mean to say anyone who plays video games, because merely playing video games doesn’t automatically make a person a Gamer. If you just like to play video games, that’s awesome. Join the club. No wait, I mean not that! The exclusive bullshit club you join when you declare yourself a Gamer is the exact problem I’m talking about here.

Like I said it’s okay to have a hobby. Hell, it’s okay to even be really super passionate about a certain hobby, and it would be awesome if you could tell me what that’s like. And video games are totally an acceptable outlet for that passion, but the problem is that once you join the ranks of the Gamers, more often than not you become, for lack of a less hilarious term, functionally retarded. The point here being that I have almost never seen someone passionately declare themselves to be a Gamer and then articulately and politely defend their hobby to anyone, Gamer or otherwise. Conversation almost immediately devolves into written temper tantrums and semi-literate accusations of “faggotry” over what basically amount to bundles of high functioning plastic.

via Engadget

Please, please argue about this pointless bullshit.

And this isn’t just some stereotype. I’m not writing to address the idiotic public notion of the basement dwelling, forty year old man wearing Cheeto-stained underoos. And it’s not just because we don’t appreciate being lumped in with petulant online crybabies. I’ve seen with my own two eyes page upon actual written page of people practically coming to blows over whether or not the Xbox is any better than the PS3, despite the overwhelming evidence of their even standing. I have seen whole conversations consisting of nothing but derivatives of various slurs, racial or otherwise. I have seen the Gamer and he is annoyingly full of hate, is I guess what I’m trying to say here. In short, Gamers are a lot like Juggalos, in that they don’t understand that they are the reason no one takes their hobby seriously.

Gamers especially fail at attempting to quell public outrage regarding what many (idiots) believe to be a psychologically dangerous hobby. It’s all well and good to say that playing video games doesn’t make you a threat, but when your plea for tolerance is immediately followed by a message of “Don’t fuck with us”, you severely undermine your goddamned position. I understand that video games are unfairly maligned in the eye of the general public, but failing to comprehend and rectify the overarching attitude problem prevalent in the Gamer subculture, while simultaneously adopting a position of unfair persecution is not the way to effectively spur change. Along with that is a sense of entitlement so ridiculous that it’s almost profound. So-called Gamers demand they be placated, and will attempt to stage pointless boycotts over the most minor of perceived slights. This is not to say that gaming companies are entirely blameless in the relationship between consumer and provider, but at least their actions have a practical goal in the form of profit. Gamers just like to whine. Now, before you say anything, I’m perfectly aware of the irony of whining on the Internet about whiners on the Internet. It helps to be self aware.

It’s this general lack of self-awareness that ultimately ruins any point Gamers might have regarding their hobby. By and large, Gamers are whiny, petulant dipshits with a sense of entitlement the size of Texas and they’re ruining video games for everyone. When video games begin to take precedent over actual important things in your life, and you’ve forgotten how to treat the subject with some degree of rationality, you are a Gamer. And Internet, let me tell you, Gamers are one of the worst things you’ve ever created, and they’ll never go away. How can you even live with yourself? Internet, what have you done?


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