Tentative Title: Odds & Evens
Told through sloppy exposition (or perhaps even by way of a montage set to death metal), an unnoticed and disrespected man becomes an outcast, expecting the world to welcome him with open arms rather than put himself out there and be a social human. His misanthropic urges cause him to read constantly, focusing primarily on the macabre because he’s a whiny emo bitch. He comes across a dimly lit bookstore and finds a dusty tome on the ancient occult. Through some research, he discovers that six times each century, when the date becomes three consecutive odd numbers, a gate to hell opens and all manner of demon are able to be summoned…by those who know the proper spells. 7-9-11 is fast approaching and a young and eager journalist is doing a story on the occult when she catches onto the outcast’s plans to access the gate to hell–conveniently located in Times Square–to exact his revenge on the people who shunned him. She goes to the police, who laugh at her wild claims. But a sexy, grizzled, and mysterious man, who was at the station for some unexplained reason, overhears the young woman and offers to help her. She struggles to work alongside the charmingly offensive man, who is quirkily unconventional in his methods. Can the two of them stop the outcast from summoning demons? Can they bury the secret of hell’s gate until the next Odd Day on 9-11-13? Which crass one-liner will finally soften the young reporter enough to fuck the sexy, mysterious man? How can they fit in a gratuitous titty shot?…wait, I got it, he’s crass so his “office” is at a strip club.